Chair of the board for Samtökin ‘78 Þorbjörg Þorvaldsdóttir believes awareness in schools and more proactive parenting can help combat bullying.
“In general it comes down to kids not having the social skills yet developmentally and not having good role models. Their sense of compassion and empathy is developing, but they’re trying their best to fit in. The problem when it comes to aggressive behavior also has to do with what they’re seeing at home and what they’re learning from older kids. Parents have a huge role to play and need to be mindful of what they’re saying in front of their kids, especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues.”
Prevention vs. reaction
Through her work at Samtökin ‘78, Þorbjörg is trying to change the narrative and create more education. Education about queer issues, says Þorbjörg, is the best way to prevent these things from happening in the first place. “The survey we conducted in 2017 and published this fall shows proof of verbal harassment in schools specifically against LGBTQ+ kids. We know anecdotally that queer people are often bullied more than other students. Since the results of the survey, the first step we took was to make the results known. For many people it was shocking to see the numbers and for example how many students saw that teachers didn’t step in when this behavior was happening” says Þorbjörg.
“It’s not your fault. You are worthy, you’re a beautiful human being, and you deserve love and respect.”
When incidents of prejudice happen and are brought to their attention, it’s already too late to change the narrative because it’s reactive. Þorbjörg explains “Samtökin ‘78 provides counseling, support, and education when there is a problem within a school or an LGBTQ+ student is in need, but of course we want to educate the whole school first to avoid these events entirely.” For most of the other students and even the adults in the room, it’s not about keeping everything peaceful all the time. “It’s about awareness and it’s about compassion. You don’t have to like everyone to be nice to them and to respect them” she says.
Planning for the future
Þorbjörg says there’s only so much progress we can make against bullying and oppression if we’re not doing this work across all schools in Iceland. “The plan is to get queer education out to more kids and more staff. For example the municipality that probably does this the best is Hafnarfjorður, where all kids in 8th grade get queer education once from someone at Samtökin ‘78. All new staff members get training as well and other staff members get updates every three years. In other municipalities, it’s up to each school individually to ask for this education. This specific training is not required for most schools” says Þorbjörg.
She elaborates, “municipalities need to take queer issues seriously and be proactive about them. They need to make sure the school environment is one where the children can thrive. That is something that can be done with a conscious effort. If you don’t do anything, things are more likely to go awry. Show an effort, make a plan.”
Representation matters
One example of a school tackling this well is Hlíðarskóli, where representation, visibility, and symbolism all combine to support LGBTQ+ students. “What they’ve done there is really cool, they have a team of teachers and staff members that are together in an LGBTQ+ unit. It’s there within other teams for the school and every teacher that’s comfortable talking about queer issues has a tiny rainbow flag in their classroom. More schools and teachers should be forming these teams,” says Þorbjörg. With the flags any student, no matter their sexual orientation or gender expression, can see that their teacher or staff member is open, willing, and supportive about these topics and it breaks down a barrier that would otherwise keep the child from coming forward.
Chin up, Óliver
When asked what she would say to a kid like Óliver being bullied in and out of school, Þorbjörg responds with sage advice:
“It’s not your fault.”
“You are worthy, you’re a beautiful human being, and you deserve love and respect.”
For more information about Þorbjörg’s work at Samtökin ‘78 click here or here. To read the full study Samtökin ‘78 conducted with GLSEN, click here (or here for Icelandic). For more information for educators and opportunities for queer education in schools, reach out to Tótla Sæmundsdóttir, Director of Education for Samtökin ‘78, here.
See also: Óliver is far from alone – A national conversation on bullying and queer stories of bravery
