Why are you gay?

“People tend to get the idea that lesbians don’t like to be fucked (as in getting something long and hard up their muffin) but this statement is plainly wrong.”


Soon it will be three years since I came out as a lesbian. These years have been the best of my life, full of new people, experiences and vision on life. Also full of weird new questions that I have been asked regarding my sexuality. Many of these questions are very fun to answer, others are just plain stupid. But it’s always a pleasure to be asked, even though it can be a little tiring at times. Well, most of the times.

– By Apríl Smáradóttir.


I’m not talking about those obvious typical questions like “What did your parents say when you told them?” or “For how long have you known?” These questions are understandable. But when it gets too plain out stupid like “Why are you gay?” I find myself driven to make a list of all the dummy questions we get way too often. With the help from my fellow gay sisters and hope that the list will get some load of our backs, I’ll bring you a few examples that we hope and pray you will think about before you ask:

“How do girls even sleep together? Is it all just foreplay and scissors?” This one makes me giggle every time. Especially because of the face impression people have when they ask…. They know there’s no other way to ask about this subject and are too curious not to. We actually get this one extremely often so we start answering in similar fashion. “Yes, the only way for us to have sex is to put our vaginas close together, in a special magical way. We bond through our inner selves and souls… a little like in the movie Avatar actually.” Don’t get me wrong, scissoring is a thing we do. But that position is occasional and for many gay girls that position is not on the top of their list, ever. That does not include myself.

“Why are you gay? How can you possibly know?” Notice our face impression when you have asked this. Why are you straight? And how can you possibly know? Think about it.

“But how can a girl like you…” “Because I wear dresses, makeup and have long hair I shouldn’t and couldn’t possibly prefer girls?” “Well you are just too pretty to…”Why thank you! But you aren’t honestly serious are you?” I’m speaking for all my fellow lipstick lesbian sisters. It’s unbearable how often we get this question. It’s like we would ask every short-haired woman out there how they could possibly like men! It’s all about the inner self, not how you look like. Come on people, this is a cliché. You should know this.

“Isn’t it weird in the woman’s locker room? Do you peek?” Not more than other straight girls do. And they do it a lot. We are girls. We compare. It’s in our nature. I really think that the locker room is the last place we think about our sexual needs. We respect those women around us and we actually try to act as less gay as we can. Because it’s like we think that they can actually see that we are gay, leaving them extremely paranoid around us. This is of course complete nonsense but our biggest fear is that other women feel uncomfortable around us because of our sexuality. So no, we don’t “peek” that way.

Boy: “Can I interest you with a threesome?” No.

Girl: “You know I’m not gay right? I’m not hitting on you by talking to you.” Oh!
You’re not? Oh because I thought we had something going on here, since I’m a lesbian and I clearly hit on every female there is…. Seriously, get over yourself.

“It’s just a phase right?” All right, I’ll admit there is a group of girls that had their lesbian phase in their late teens. But those who are way over their twenties and have only had gay relationships, do not look at boys whatsoever. They define themselves as lesbians… and are not going through a phase.

“Which one is the girl and which one is the boy in the relationship?” How about this, we are both the girl in the relationship. One prefers to do other things than the other, and maybe is tougher or softer but yet again, what relationship isn’t it like that?

“Do lesbians have their periods?” I don’t have the time nor the patience to answer this one. Moving on…

Boy: “How do you know you’re gay if you have never slept with a man?” How many boys did you ride before you knew you were straight?

“Then why do you use dildos and strapons if you don’t like dicks?” Look… it isn’t about us not liking having something in there. People tend to get the idea that lesbians don’t like to be fucked (as in getting something long and hard up their muffin) but this statement is plainly wrong. Being gay isn’t all about sex… you know.

“You just haven’t been fucked like I do, you have to meet someone to show you how it’s done with a real man.” This is just disturbing.

“What can I do to make you change your mind?” I can’t… I just. Well, no comment.

“If you like girls, why do you date girls who look JUST LIKE BOYS!” It’s just the look I like, just like if someone likes brunettes over blondes or one type over another. It’s the same thing in the straight world…right?

“Do you consider yourself as a boy, in a girls body?” Nope.

“Lesbians are in an endless need for attention, they always have to show off their sexuality.” By this statement I assume you are referring when we hold hands and kiss in public that’s showing off our sexuality. If that is desperately calling for attention, then straight people must be the most attention seeking whores there are. If you don’t like what you see in public, then just kindly turn your head away and get used to the fact that people fall in love in this world, gay or straight.

And finally… This bad boy: “Everyone! This is xxxx, she is a lesbian!!!” And then we awkwardly smile and wave. Please do not do this to us.

Á. Óskarsson
Á. Óskarsson

Á. Óskarsson offers a variety of products and services to sports centers, swimming pools, schools, kindergartens, and the general public. The company specializes in sport-related products, activity-focused games, and a wide range of solutions for sports facilities.

Á. Óskarsson has been involved in numerous big projects related to building sports facilities and has made it their benchmark to offer good quality products and equipment since the company was founded.

See links to social media in the upper left-hand corner


Á. Óskarsson selur fjölbreytt vöruúrval fyrir íþróttahús, sundlaugar, skóla og leikskóla og einnig ýmsar vörur til einkaafnota. Fyrirtækið selur vörur til íþróttaiðkunnar og leikja ásamt því að bjóða upp á ýmsar lausnir fyrir íþróttamannvirki.

Á. Óskarsson hefur komið að fjölda stórra verkefna við byggingu íþróttamannvirkja og hefur frá stofnun kappkostað að bjóða vandaðar og endingargóðar vörur.

Tenglar á samfélagsmiðla eru í efra horninu vinstra megin.



    Blush was founded in 2011 when it started selling high quality sex products. The goal from the beginning was to change the market and take the discussion about sex products to a higher level. Today Blush provides professional services in a pleasant environment that fulfills different needs, both for individuals and couples. Blush respects diversity and wants to set a good example in all of its messaging to target audiences. Sexual health and equality in sex is important and Blush wants to focus on those issues through education and open discussion. Blush works in a socially responsible manner for society, their customers and the environment.

    Check out Blush’s website: https://blush.is/

    Omnom Chocolate
    - award-winning chocolate maker

      Omnom Chocolate is an Icelandic craft chocolate company based in Reykjavík. We produce handcrafted chocolate from organic cacao beans sourced ethically and sustainably. We’ve developed direct relationships to create premium chocolate with fine flavor cacao beans.

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      In only a few short years, we’ve grown from our 50 sq. m. petrol station space and become an award-winning chocolate maker. Now, with our headquarters in 101 Reykjavík, our chocolate is sent out around Iceland and all over the world.

      At the end of the day, our goal is to make chocolate.




        Nasdaq (Nasdaq: NDAQ) is a global technology company serving the capital markets and other industries. Our diverse offering of data, analytics, software and services enables clients to optimize and execute their business vision with confidence.

        With over 4,300 employees in 39 offices around the world, at Nasdaq we all contribute to the success of the company and its culture, and each one of us has the ability to make a difference. When it comes to our core mission and values, we embrace the role of Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging (DIB) as a fundamental driver of our corporate growth, workplace culture and market development. We strive to create a culture that embraces the power of different perspectives—a culture where people’s unique backgrounds and different experiences helps us fuel innovation and support our clients around the world.

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        Blue Lagoon
        - One of the 25 Wonders of the World

        Named by National Geographic as one of the 25 Wonders of the World, the Blue Lagoon is a shimmering expanse of warmth, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Its unique geothermal seawater
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        Achieving harmony with the volcanic landscape, the lagoon and its surrounding architecture embody the unification of the man-made and the natural, and adhere to the highest principles of sustainability.

        The Blue Lagoon. A wonder of the world. A world of wonder.

        - leading financial institution

        Landsbankinn is a leading Icelandic financial institution. It offers a full range of financial services and is the market leader in the Icelandic financial service sector with the largest branch network.

        The present bank was established on 7 October 2008 but the history of its predecessor dates back to 1886. The bank is owned by the National Treasury of Iceland, which holds 98.2% of its share capital, and other shareholders who own 1.8%.

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        Landsbankinn wishes to lead the development of a sustainable society in Iceland by integrating economic, social and environmental concerns in its operations. The Bank aims to ensure that both its owners and society at large benefit from its activities.

        It intends to achieve this aim by building solid infrastructure and a strong team of 1.100 employees, by listening to its customers and by respecting and encouraging its employees to actively participate in their community. Landsbankinn was a founding member of Festa, a Centre for Corporate Social Responsibility, and is a member of the UN Global Compact.

        Landsbankinn has been a proud sponsor of the Reykjavik Pride since it was first celebrated in Iceland.

        - get inspired

        Dohop allows people to find the cheapest flights available with just one click. Founded in Reykjavik in 2004, it is the only Icelandic company of its kind and quickly became the go-to tool for finding cheap flights among the locals. Dohop finds the best deals among hundreds of different airlines and online travel agencies, to make sure that the user is getting the cheapest price. Dohop also offers hotel and car rental search engines, so users can make all of their travel bookings from a single website.

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        VSÓ Ráðgjöf


          VSÓ Ráðgjöf er alhliða ráðgjafar- og verkfræðifyrirtæki sem leggur áherslu á trausta og faglega þjónustu sem tryggir viðskiptavinum hagkvæmustu lausnir hverju sinni, skilar raunverulegum árangri og stuðlar að samkeppnisforskoti.  Á skrifstofum VSÓ í Reykjavík og í Noregi starfar yfir 80 manna samhentur hópur verkfræðinga og annarra tæknimenntaðra starfsmanna.

          - for all your Apple needs

          From starting out as a proper startup with only a good idea and the need to change things, to becoming an established company with 6 employees. Starting from scratch and expanding organically has allowed us to love our expansion and take our customers on the ride with us.

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          Ísey skyr
          - once tasted never forgotten

          Our Story
          Once upon a time, 1,100 years ago in fact, Nordic settlers began arriving in Iceland. They brought with them the skills and knowledge for producing skyr. As time passed, the know-how and recipe for this nutritious food slowly faded out elsewhere in the Nordic region. Luckily, the Icelandic skyr-making tradition continued.

          For centuries, Icelandic skyr formed a cornerstone of the national diet, helping to keep people strong in living conditions that were often harsh. On family farms countrywide, it was the women who nurtured this dairy and passing on both the recipe and the original Icelandic skyr cultures from mother to daughter.

          Ísey skyr builds on this remarkable legacy. It was some of those very same women, the recipients of their mothers’ expertise, who, around 90 years ago, taught Icelandic dairy scientists the art of skyr-making. The production process is more high-tech these days, and the quality standards more rigorous. However, the basic recipe and the use of original cultures to ferment the skimmed milk remain the same. Protein rich, fat-free, creamy and delicious – Ísey skyr is as relevant to consumers now as it was all those centuries ago.
          This is our secret and you are in on it

          You can read more about Ísey skyr on our website.

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