With great powers come great responsibility. It‘s true for Spiderman, and apparently it‘s true for queer people too, probably because being gay is a superpower of sorts.
I think.
That is, at least, the only logical conclusion I can come to, after compiling the following list of things gays have been blamed for over the years. I am of course using the word „logical“ rather loosely.
Not being able to fly, stop time or live underwater myself, I can only imagine our superpower is attracting the attention of people who have (how to put this nicely?) decided that 14th century thinking and knowledge is all that a human being needs.
The list, containing 10 crazy things gays have been blamed for, does seem to have a common thread running through it, but I leave it to you to spot it. So, let‘s get started …
#10 Sodom and Gomorrah
Case: OK, so there seems to be no hard evidence these cities ever existed, but if you read the rest of the list you‘ll quickly see that‘s only a minor detail.
In short, in the Bible Sodom and Gomorrah were cities where all kinds of sins were popular, especially of the flesh. That is, after all, where the word sodomy comes from. Since God didn‘t like all those naked people doing what they did, he burned the cities (and neighbouring cities too) to the ground after a divine judgment was passed.
Today there is a certain group of people who read about all the nasty stuff going on in Sodom and Gomorrah and all they take from it must have been because of the homosexuality that God got so mad. Some say though that the act of inhospitality and violence towards foreigners appears to be to blame. A lot of the debate seems to boil down to how many times the word „know“ (in the Bible) means „know“ and how many times it means „had sex with“.
I must add that tales of Sodom and Gomorrah exist in the Hebrew Bible and the Qu‘ran, as well as the New Testament.
My take: Xenophobia or homosexuality? Hatred or love? Which does God dislike the most?
#9 Fall of the Roman Empire
Case: Let‘s get the historic events on the list out-of-the-way. This one actually tracks back to Richard Nixon in the 70‘s. In a conversation with Henry Kissinger and Bob Haldeman, the talk turns to gays. To his credit, Nixon suggests that history is filled with intelligent gay people and mentions Oscar Wilde, Aristotle and Nero as examples.
But then, he goes on to say that „once a society moves in that direction“ the vitality of it is gone. He also says that „a whole bunch of Roman emperors“ were gay, indicating that that‘s to blame for the fall of the Roman Empire.
Finally he says that even though he is tolerant of homosexuality he will not help pass a law indicating, „Well, now, kids, just go out and be gay.“ Whatever that means.
My take: Nixon was stuck in the „all equal, BUT …“ track that still exists today. Not being thousands of years old I can not say for sure if homosexuality played a role in the fall of the Roman Empire or not. But I will say this: Does anybody really miss the Roman Empire? Regardless of cause, isn‘t it OK we don‘t have that today? Or have you ever gone: „Oh, man! I wish the Roman Empire was still here, that would make things so much better!“?
#8 World War II
Case: Well, not exactly. Adolf Hitler (if you don‘t know who he was, you need to be reading something other than this list) blamed different minorities, including queer people, for the bad economic situation in Germany following World War I. This tactic was part of his stepping stone to power and thus directly led to World War II, during which Hitler used the opportunity and made life a living hell for said minorities.
My take: I‘m no historian (no really, I‘m not. Ask anyone.) but I find it hard to see how a few queers can affect big economies to the worse. Specially in a society where they are pretty much forced to keep it a secret. How does that happen? Is the economy based on selling children, and a 10% margin in baby-making couples is all it takes? I don‘t even like joking about this, but I see no other possible explanation.
#7 The 9/11 attacks
Case: When two christian fundamentalists get together on a TV screen and try to seek reason for the devastating attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001, it takes less than a minute (58 seconds in this video (link)) to blame it on the gays and lesbians.
Mind you, there are others to blame as well, such as feminists, pagans, abortionists and the ACLU, an organization who works to extend rights to those who have traditionally been denied their rights, such as „people of color; women; lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people; prisoners; and people with disabilities.“ They‘re all to blame for the fact that God made a terrorist organization hijack planes and kill thousands of innocent people.
My take: If the length of your arm is no longer limited by the bones, skin, muscles, tendons or basic physics … you can reach pretty far.
#6 Natural disasters
Case: OK, so in the Bible God punishes humans with all kinds of plagues. Because of this I‘m a little sympathetic with people who think bad weather is the anger of God. It‘s just that it would be nice to see a bit of thought go into it. Or even just common sense.
Hurricane Sandy: „God is systematically destroying America because of the homosexual agenda!“
Hurricane Isaac: „God‘s patience with America‘s sin [gay agenda] is coming to an end!“
Hurricane Katrina: „God caused Hurricane Katrina to wipe out New Orleans because it had a gay pride parade the week before and was filled with sexual sin.“
Storms and heavy flooding in the UK: „God‘s mad at the UK because of the passage of same-sex marriage bill!“
Earthquake and tsunami in Japan: „God is mad because the US military has allowed openly gay soldiers!“
My take: The examples could go on and on and on, but they all sound more or less the same. But there is so much more that can affect natural disasters than a bit of gay love (even if you look past geology and meteorology). The next time I don‘t like the weather (and remember, I live in Iceland so that happens a few times most days) I‘m starting a blog called: „How people who wear open-toe shoes are ruining my life, freedom, democracy and society as we know it.“ Because, you know … it‘s just wrong. Nobody wants to see your toes. Yuck!
#5 Autism
Case: When Susanne Atanus decided to run for US congress, she wanted to appeal to the LGBT vote. And this is why she said she believed gay marriage was to blame for cold weather and autism. Right? I mean, who can resist such a proposal?
My take: I don‘t mind cold weather that much, but as wonderful as most autistic people I know are, I do take issue with being blamed for the cards other people are dealt at birth. More than that, I take issue with people who see autistic people in such a way that they feel the need to find someone to blame. I encourage you to read the whole article linked with this list item. It‘s … something.
#4 Ebola
Case: This has been in the news recently because of the Ebola outbreak in Liberia. The Liberia Council of Churches released a public statement that said that the nation had to pray forgiveness, since homosexual acts within the country were one of the reasons behind the outbreak.
As a result, gay people are afraid to walk the streets in Liberia, as violence against them has increased since the statement was made. In America though, it‘s not just the gays that are being blamed for Ebola. No, it‘s because of ObamaCare.
My take: Every effort taken in finding alternative reasons for diseases and illnesses, based on anything else than science and medicine, greatly undermines the chance of containing or curing said disease or illness. That‘s the sad truth about that.
#3 Economic crash 2008
Case: Rick Santorum, an US presidential candidate in 2011, had no doubt in his mind that the economical breakdown in 2008 was largely due to gay marriage. „If you look at the root cause of the economic problems that we’re dealing with on Wall Street and Main Street I might add, from 2008, they were huge moral failings.“
But Rick is not alone in his well thought out findings. Luz Elena Sanín, a Popular Party senator in Spain, recently accused the country‘s former prime minister of forcing Spain into a record-breaking one trillion Euro debt, with subsidies for NGOs and the LGBT community.
Rick and Luz may agree, but fortunately the majority of people around them think differently.
My take: I‘ve had a gay marriage myself. It was quite expensive. I would have thought more expensive marriages meant more economic growth? And I‘m not sure gay marriage completely frees the investment bankers of their responsibility. Unless there is one super-banker who is gay. Then they are to blame for the whole thing. Naturally.
#2 Child molestation within the Catholic church
Case: I must admit I didn‘t see that coming, but I guess I should have. It seems that sexual child abuse within the Catholic church is not the catholic‘s fault. Nope, it‘s them damn gays again!
Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican Secretary of State, said that: “Many psychologists and psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relationship between celibacy and paedophilia. But many others have demonstrated, I have been told recently, that there is a relationship between homosexuality and paedophilia. That is true. That is the problem.”
My take: This myth (a child abuser must be gay) is well alive today. A once-famous singer in Iceland has taken on the role of poster-boy for this myth and accuses the Reykjavik Gay Pride of being harmful for children.
I don‘t think the idea of tolerance and self-worth is quite as harmful to children as being molested by a spiritual leader figure. Just as I don‘t think a gay couple is quite as harmful to a child as a paedophillic priest or cardinal. But hey, what do I know?
#1 Climate change
Case: This has to be on the top of the list, for one obvious reason: Climate change facts have not had much following with those less open to scientific arguments, and there are none less open than the ones pointing the finger in this case: Church Ministers.
At a conference in the University of the South Pacific, academics were caught off guard when church ministers maintained that climate change in the Samoa islands are caused by homosexuals.
Understandably so because untill then homosexuals were believed to have some of the lowest CO2 emission of all minorities. (I kid.)
My take: I‘m still trying to decide if I should turn into a hybrid-lesbian, or just go fully electric.
So, there you have it. The queers are not only to blame for most of the things that go wrong, but it also seems they have way more influence on both earthly and godly events than anyone could imagine.
It‘s appearantly a big responsibility being gay, and the great power that follows can only be one: Resistance to bullshit.
