OPINION Angel Buns P’ojara-Hassan on how she discovered love and healing withing herself after living in Iceland.
I would like to share a bit of a love story.
As a lesbian I have been told that what I am is a sin.
I have been told that I will not go to heaven.
I have lost friends and family.
Sometimes we do not understand the level trauma that is created by these kind of messages. We may know that we are traumatized by our experiences but not realize the layers of trauma this causes.
A lot of LGBTQI+ people will try to navigate life hiding their sexuality and I am saying this in regards to social media where we have our family and can not post the people we love. That in itself is trauma, having to second guess what we can or can not post. That moment where you want to scream to the world that Chey, I have found love!”.
I am in no means encouraging anyone to post their private lives on social media and some people would just rather keep their lives private. I speak for those of us that want to share what is our good news.
I recently got married and did not realize that I kept trying to fill a hole on my life. I did not realize what it would feel like to have a family of my own. A family that chose me as well. I did not realize how deeply I was cut by the narrative of what I was told and what others were trying to instill in me. I did not know that by finding love and getting married the little me would feel so healed.
I could never show Iceland enough gratitude for giving me the chance to fully connect with myself, my inner child and make me feel whole.
I did not realize how deeply I was cut by the narrative of what I was told and what others were trying to instill in me. I did not know that by finding love and getting married the little me would feel so healed.
I hope that every LGBTQI+ person will have the opportunity to experience acceptance – and not just by the government but by coming full circle by finding a partner that becomes their family. Marriage is not for everyone, but finding someone that you can call your family starts to help you heal. You are loved and you are deserving of love just as you are.
May we all find peace, clarity, acceptance and never feel the need to conform to what is expected of us.
You are enough, I am enough. We all deserve to feel like we are enough. Love is yours, love is mine, love should be around the world.
I could have never imagined that I could be deserving but here I am. There is obviously many layers that I still need to work on. It’s all one step at a time and the step starts with living in security and have a community that embraces you. Through all this struggle we can still come out on the other side and share this message of love and acceptance.
The LGBTQ+ community is a strong community where many of us create life long friendships. May we in all this also find love. Mostly may we find love within ourselves, to love ourselves.
I love you all,
Angel.