The national BDSM association won’t be taking part in the Reykjavík Pride Parade this year. Still a lot of prejudice towards BDSM in the queer community says chairman of BDSM Iceland.
„BDSM is still controversial. And the people running the parade are afraid of upsetting people who come to watch. In the old days we were always part of the MSC float in the parade but nowadays that is deemed to risky. Someone might take offense,“ says Magnús Hákonarson chairman of BDSM Iceland, asked why the association is not a part of the parade, even though it will be holding a seminar about BDSM in the Pride week in Reykjavík in August. He adds that members of BDSM applied for taking part in the Reykjavík Pride Parade last year but were refused.
So are you saying that the parade has become too prudish?
„I‘m not saying that, but I know that many people in the queer community think so. We in the BDSM association are not interested in shocking people and the phrase BDSM is still enough to make some people flinch, so we are not pushing it.“
Asked if BDSM has anything to do with being queer Magnús admits that is not the case. „But BDSM is a part of the sexual minorities scene and as such we would like to become more visible and work against prejudice. The stereotype of BDSM as having something to do with black leather and whips is outdated and we would like to get the message across that BDSM is about mutual choice, communication and trust between partners, it is not about forcing anyone to take part in something he or she does not want. Having said that I have to admit that the black leather and whips thing is of course really cool and people are very into that image, but that is not what BDSM is all about. “
The seminar is called BDSM – orientation or hobby? and will be held in Iðnó the 5th of August. There Magnús and other members of BDSM Iceland will talk about what it means to be into BDSM and how that is defined. Actually he says that the definition depends on who you ask and that some say that up to 50% of the population has BDSM orientation. „But it‘s usually said that it is around 10-20%,“ he adds.
„In the old days we were always part of the MSC float in the parade but nowadays that is deemed to risky…Prejudice is not exclusive to the straight vanilla world. There is a lot of prejudice towards BDSM in the queer community too….“
The members of BDSM Iceland are only around 50 but Magnús says that the people active in the BDSM scene are around 300. „And then we are back to definitions. On our websites the biggest groups have around 1.200 participants and 3000 people sign in to the websites regularly.“
Magnús admits that even though being active in the BDSM scene still carries a stigma there has been a huge shift in people’s attitudes towards it. „When I started out in BDSM you were not even allowed to mention BDSM in a classified ad in the papers,“ he says. „And I‘m really happy to see how easy and normal it has become in young people’s minds to come out as BDSM. Many people have been feeling bad and not knowing how to handle their sexual fantasies and longings for years before they come to us and realise that is where they belong.“
Are those people not angry for not being able to march in the Pride Parade and acknowledge their sexual identity to the world then? „There were some who got really hurt when we got the refusal last year,“ Magnús admits. „But we are not dwelling on that. It seems to be almost too much for the queer community to have us on the sideline so we have decided to take it one step at a time and be content to hold this seminar.
Prejudice is not exclusive to the straight vanilla world. There is a lot of prejudice towards BDSM in the queer community too and we do realise that it takes time to change that.“
Main photo: Bacground depicts the Reykjavík Pride Parade. Smaller picture, a cut out, that shows BDSM and leather fair Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Photo by Plyush Kumar.